I watched The Bottomline with Boy Abunda last Saturday. The guest was Miss Angel Aquino. During their interview/conversation, Boy Abunda asked Angel if she was ready to settle down or get married with her current boyfriend. She said something like: Alam naman niya (the boyfriend) na I don't need a man in my life. .. As long as two people are going in the same direction at nagkakaintindihan sila, I think there's no need for marriage. [He knows that I don't need a man in my life. .. As long as two people are going in the same direction and they understand each other, I think there's no need for marriage.]
What Angel was trying to say is she doesn't need those "official" wedding / marriage vows. Most people would definitely disagree, knowing Filipinos since it is in the culture to get married.
Boy mentioned that one reason people want to get married is because they need security. I'm not saying that all people who get married are insecure. Sometimes, it's just what they are used to. Culture, as I was saying.
I admit, I admire those people who don't get married because most of the time it shows they are secure in their relationship with their partner. They do not fear of the possibility that their partner might leave them. As for me, I'm quite the insecure type so I would definitely want to get married when I'm older. I also don't want my future children to be illegitimate. (And also because I want to experience that big white wedding.)
Based on the conversation they had, I think one reason Angel does not want to get married is because of what she went through when she was a child. They were her father's second (or third?) family, and she often saw her mother being battered by her father. And in her younger years, she thought that was normal. It was narrated that sometimes her father's other families or kids would stay in their house. She also did not question since her mother did not really say much.
I told my mother about this and she told me about how a person becomes how he is. She said that 80% is on upbringing (family), 10% is peers and/or external environment, and 10% is the person's life decisions.
A family's upbringing is very important. From ages 4-9, this is the most critical stage in a child's life. What he learns from this stage is mostly what will influence how he will be in life.
As what we learned in our earlier Values and Social Studies classes, the family is the basic unit of the society. No family is perfect, but at least it can strive to be a good place for the child to grow in.
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