More Than Just An Option

Last December, two of my friends both sent me a text message. Somehow, I related to it and so I'd like to share it here.


"If someone wants to be part of your life, they'd make an effort to be in it. So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay."

"If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you'll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority."


I'd just like to relate this to those people who hold on to someone even if that someone is treating you like poop. It's when you feel like in your relationship, all the effort is coming from you. You need him to make an effort but you guess he's too busy with important things so you let it pass, but then the next time it happens, you start whining again how he's not treating you right but hey, you're still with him.
One question though: Aren't you important to him too?

One of my older friends once told me that this shouldn't be a problem. In a REAL relationship, there is no need to be a so-called "martyr". Because in a REAL loving relationship, there should be give-and-take. Okay, given that he indeed is so busy, he should still at least be able to allocate even just a little time to inform you what he's doing. Even if it's just to say he's busy with whatever and that he misses you.

So yes, if that person doesn't treat you like you're a priority, then what are you still doing in his life?
If he wants you, he'll reach out to you. If he wants to see you, he'll find a way. If he wants to spend time with you, he'll make time. But of course, this works both ways. This doesn't mean the guy is the only one who will make an effort. As I said, give-and-take relationship.

Loving means giving without expecting for anything in return. But if you are in a relationship, it is given that both of you love each other. Thus, both of you should give.