Don't Blame Your Mum

So your dad's an alcoholic. Probably even takes drugs.
He hurts you physically. He nags and complains about problems that don't seem to end.
He points his gun at you, at your sister, your brother, or at your mum.

He makes your already dysfunctional family even more dysfunctional.

And then you begin to ask.

Why did Mum even marry this guy?
What did she see in him that made her think this was a man she wanted to be with her whole life?

Don't blame your mum.

She didn't know either.

When she was deciding on marrying, she had found in your dad someone who was capable of being her partner in raising a family. She had found an ally, a best friend, perhaps an ideal man.
But who knew that it would turn out this way? Not you. And neither did she.

So don't try to change what --or who-- refuses to change.
If you already did everything from trying to talk to him, seeking help from others like his relatives maybe, then the problem is with him. If he does not want to change, then you are in a losing situation.

"The only time you can change a man is when he is a baby."
If he himself does not want to help himself and try to fix his relationship with your family, then there's pretty much nothing you can do for him.



*Perhaps prayer can help. :)

On Love and On Falling in Love

Courtesy of brainpickings.org :)

1.)

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

~ Read full article here.


2.)

~ Read full article here.

I love you.

Someone says this to you. What do you reply with?

"Thank you." "I love you too." "I love you more."

You say "Thank you" when you appreciate the love the person is giving, but you do not necessarily feel the same way. You say "I love you too" because you also feel the same way. But, "I love you more" ?

When people say "I love you more", they probably don't have any bad intentions to the one they're saying this to. But, here is what it sounds or means to me.

When you say "I love you more", it is like you know how much the other person loves you and you believe that you love him/her more than he/she does you. However, isn't this comparing? It seems like you are indirectly telling the other person that he/she should do more or exert more effort to level with how much you're giving. Is this not the case? If so, we cannot call this love anymore. For true love does not demand. It does not find fault, and it does not compete with another person. It gives unconditionally.

Some people may not agree with this view, but as I mentioned above, people who say this may not be aware of this implication of the statement. And yes, they may not have this intention as well.

In my case, when my other half says "I love you" to me, I always reply simply with "I love you".
"I love you", because I do. "I love you" and not "I love you too", because even if he will not love me back anymore, I will still do.

So now, let me ask you that question again. When someone says "I love you" to you, how will you answer?

God's message

God wants you to know:

"I've come to you not to make you love me, but rather  to make you realize that you are WORTH loving."

___________

A message from God (for ladies):

No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me.

I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you. I won't give unless he asks you from me. Soon you will know him; I have set the perfect time. 

You are my PRINCESS, my daughter. Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from my hand. For I am your Father, the KING of kings. YOU, my princess, is worth loving.

Uniform

I saw on the back of a dude's shirt: A uniform that comes with responsibility.


True. Wearing a uniform does not only give you identity, but it also means that instilled in you are the beliefs and values that your group/organization/club stands for.

Well, supposedly this should be the case.

[ Even before I saw that dude's shirt, I already had this concern. You see, I am currently studying in a Catholic university, and it bothers me that some students do some inappropriate things whilst in their uniform. Don't get me wrong. I don't really care if they smoke, drink, or do any what-not. My concern is that some of them do not have the decency to at least change their clothes or to not do these things at all when in uniform.
Why is this such a big deal? Because, if they do these things, it just shows that they don't respect their uniform and their school. In addition, they are giving other people a negative impression of what students from the school are like. ]

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that a uniform is not just a piece of clothing. It also defines who you are. So, wear it with pride, and act responsibly.

Lessons from TV

Heyyy it's been a long time. Thought this blog needed a new post so here I am. I've been meaning to  post but I just don't know what to talk about. I'm really sorry for that.

Anyway, tonight I decided to post about two TV shows that I was able to watch today.

One was Pinoy Abroad in GMA News TV. I forgot what the title was. Rhea Santos went to China (I think it was a back episode). It showed some Chinese people who major in Philippine Studies in Beijing University. I was happy when I saw that they were learning the culture and the language of the Philippines. It made me smile when they spoke in straight Filipino and even sang "Bahay Kubo". :)

It's pleasing to know that people of foreign descent are interested and are learning about our culture. However, it is also sad that we, Filipinos, tend to overlook the beauty of the culture we have. It's true that we have to learn English, etcetera to keep up with the globalization. Still, this should be no excuse to forget our roots and not preserve them.

In my own experience, I did not really bother to be able to learn the Filipino language since I thought that if I happen to go to Manila or to converse with people who speak the language (I'm from Cebu and our language here is different), I'd only resort to speaking English. Having had my first Filipino class in college this semester, I realized that there are a lot of fascinating things about a language, the Filipino language to be specific. I realized that there are a lot of things I didn't know about it. I used to think that what I learned from elementary and high school were enough, but I thought wrong. The Filipino class I'm enrolled in made me feel more of a Filipino. It not only made me appreciate the language, but it also made me proud that I am part of a culture that is so colorful. :)

The next one is a documentary entitled Alkansya (piggy bank) by Kara David for i-Witness in GMA. The episode featured a boy named Anthony who was working as a diver just to be able to save up for new school supplies and uniform. However, the money he gets in a day is less than 50 pesos. He hardly gets to sleep because he is busy working and, at the same time, going to school. One of the things that left a mark on me was when Kara asked him what he wanted to be in the future. He answered that he wanted to finish studying and be a janitor so that he can work in Manila.
There is a law against forced child labor, but children like Anthony are forced to work so that they can send themselves to school. Others are already working so that they can help their parents earn a living to pay for their everyday necessities like food.
I felt pity for Anthony and at the same time regret for myself. I thought about what I did in the past, wasting time and effort, and my parents' money to send me to school. There are people who get an education to be able to work, but there are others who need to work to be able to get an education. We should not waste the opportunities and the blessings that are given to us. On that note, I shall close this post with a text message a friend sent me:

They say, "You can never realize the importance of a thing until it's gone." But I say, "It will never be gone unless you realize its importance."

Human love

This was a text message sent to me last week.


"I guess love does fade. That sometimes the heart gets tired of longing, of hoping. That sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that some things can never be, and that you should be contented with things as they are. Leaving is a choice. Staying is a choice. But you can never really ask someone to stay or to leave. It's a choice they have to make for themselves. Sometimes, no matter how much you beg for someone to stay or how hard you try to make someone leave, you really have no control over what they will choose."

• My recent breakup was something that somewhat unexpectedly made me really break down. I came to the point that I asked these questions: "What if I begged? What if I gave him the right reasons and explained really well? Would he change his mind and take me back?" I know. Retarded, right? Desperate even. Well, yes, I admit I was. But, thankfully, I didn't say these to him.  ~ ..you can never really ask someone to stay.. 

• Another input for this message is about unconditional love vs. human love. Loving without conditions, loving without waiting for anything in return - it is someone everyone would like to have. But, human as we are, we will always wish or probably even need for something to reciprocate the affection. It is said that only God is capable of unconditional love. That no matter how many times we sin or how grave our sins are, He will still accept us. We will always be pure and beautiful in His eyes. But even so, I'd like to believe that some people are capable of unconditional love. Only, most people would think it crazy. It is what they would call "being a martyr". And in the times today, the mentality is that no man or woman is worth it.